Day 29 – November 07, 2010
The rain kept me in today, again. This seems like some sort of conspiracy to keep me from shooting. I’m not sure what’s more depressing though – the fact that I can’t get outside to salvage something after the death of the D50, or this persistent feeling of inaction, not just because of not being able to shoot, but also the gnawing realization that I’m shortly about to finish the first third of this three-month journey. It’s the same kind of feeling I suffer from when I realize that Saturday is half-over and I’ll need to go back to office the following Monday. Not as strong, but very similar. The weirdest thing, though, is it doesn’t seem to make any sense. I’ve been having a great time so far, and don’t see why my stay in the USA won’t be good. Scotland was great, and I hope I’ve learned stuff through the workshop that will help me become more focused in my shooting.
The thought of planning my stay in the USA has occurred to me a few times, and having worked though an unplanned trip (in the UK) I’m not sure doing the same across the pond will be equally beneficial. It’s possible to travel across the UK in a relatively small amount of time, but I’m fairly certain it won’t work the same way in the USA where distances are large, and the places to be visited are numerous. The idea of visiting various photography institutes across the country to figure out whether or not doing a course in any of them is a good idea, as an idea in itself, is starting to fall out of favour with me. I can’t really put my finger on why and how that change in mindset is coming about, but I can feel it getting stronger. It’s not like I’m considering dumping photography as a career option completely, but the thought has got more airtime in my head over the last few days. Maybe it’s because after the workshop I find that commercial photography is not really what rocks my boat, but I already knew that.
Oh well, no point spending too much time thinking about all this stuff now. There’s more or less no way to really find out what’s going to happen before it does, and I think I’m going to let things take me wherever they want to and then figure out where to go from there.